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How much sex should you have in a happy relationship?

We've stopped having sex

10 May Not getting any? About 40 million people have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year). Sex Rx: If you really are addicted to your vibrator at the expense of your relationship with your partner, talk to a therapist to gain some insight about your relationship, De Villers. 25 Aug This week's topic: How to deal when sex slows down in a relationship. Q: My boyfriend and I have been together two years now. We used to have sex every time we hung out, now, since we just moved in together, it's slowed to maybe once or twice a week. I know it's normal for things to slow down, but isn't. 1 Sep We all feel tired, bummed out, or just plain not sexy now and again. And although that is totally OK, there are also times when a little sex might be just what the doctor ordered, even if you think you're not in the mood. "It's normal to feel more desire after you get started than when you first begin" to have sex.

Lots of healthy and passionate women in lengthy intimate relationships are not having sex. I'm not talking about partners in sexual standoffs because of their toxic, disconnected relationships.

10 Reasons You're Not Having Sex

This is a love story -- and growing trend -- about connected couples that cuddle and kiss, and perhaps play around in what sex therapists have termed "outercourse" -- which is everything but Is It Normal To Not Have Sex In A Relationship. I heard dozens of stories about lasting love minus the sex during the research for my latest book "Sex After I found it was the younger women of hooking-up age and older widows who were dating for the first time in plus years that were the most breathless, even exploratory, about sex.

Many midlife women were going through a dry spell -- that had lasted months, even years. Dips in desire from dealing with menopause and erectile issues were only partially responsible. Women gave many different answers to the question: Of being too busy. They peck hello and good night but haven't had sex since New Year's Eve, I heard from Lynne and others how the nature of true intimacy is about so much more than what our bodies can do. Here is more from her on going from daily sex to no sex:.

When I met Ron it was extremely sexual -- our record was five times in one day, and we would average Is It Normal To Not Have Sex In A Relationship times a week. Then the norm became once a week, then twice a month, and now -- nothing. When I hit menopause there was very little lubrication and at the same time my desire started to dry up. My husband was very accepting because his drop in libido matched mine. We have all the cuddling and hugging and kissing, and all that's wonderful. I admit that I miss intercourse, of being joined as one.

I just don't miss it enough to do anything about it. Without the inclination, there is no motivation. So while I am having sadness over the loss of intimacy I don't have any real desire to have sex. So It's a Catch 22 -- I want to want to, but I just don't. We talk about having oral sex, we're just not hot and heavy enough to both head South. Yet this is a man that I am more madly in love with than when we were having sex several times a day.

We have so many life experiences together, raising children, traveling, talking for hours. On an emotional and spiritual level we have an incredible bond.

It's more than a lack of hormones -- there are just no more feelings of wanting to jump on each other. And neither of us want to take desire-inducing drugs. I spoke to my gynecologist about it, and she said: So don't stress over it.

You have a quality marriage without it. I've had a lot of this web page in this new phase of our lives to think about what sexuality really means. I realize that our hotness for each other was never just sex.

Is It Normal To Not Have Sex In A Relationship

It was an expression of deep love. Now without the physical passion that spiritual passion has become even more fiery.

The Sex-Starved Relationship

Lynne's story mirrors other women who shared how soulful love was sustaining their relationships more than mind-blowing sex. Gina, 52, is married for 20 years to a man who just turned Their three children are in college.

Have MORE sex, not less - even when you're not in the mood Take sex toys into the bedroom; revisit the things you used to love to do Make note of erotic fantasies and things that turn you on Read on for more expert tips Share or comment on this article e-mail 1. You might like to try giving each other massages or holding hands. Valentine's day shooter was expelled

Like Lynne, she, too, was "hot, hot, hot -- we couldn't keep our hands off of each other," during their courtship and in the first years of marriage. I love his looks.

Try to see things from their point of view. Your relationship and sex life are connected. Morbidly obese woman who spent three YEARS confined to her bed because of her lb frame undergoes weight

I love the way he smells. But right now, I am in me-mode. I do not feel like sharing my body with anybody, even this person I love dearly. I want to get into bed and go to sleep, and not get all riled up and sweaty. We both hope that is a phase, but I can't promise you this is a phase.

It's starting to feel normal. Is no sex increasingly becoming the new normal? The answer is "yes" if it feels normal to you. Normal sexuality between a couple is what those two people feel meets their emotional and physical needs. It's your relationship, not your sister's, not your mother's, and there is no gold standard number to aspire toward as a normal amount to get it on.

Your girlfriend who is always calling her partner "sweetie" and claims to be doing it every night may be flinging dishes at him when they get home, and they may sleep in separate bedrooms. Even the most meticulous of sex researchers will never get accurate statistics on how often couples are having sex -- because people tend to lie about sex.

So don't worry that your carnal activity isn't measuring up to the cousin or girlfriend who claims she's getting it every day. Because no one knows what's really going on behind closed doors except the two people in that room.

Though many of those closed-door Is It Normal To Not Have Sex In A Relationship and challenges are revealed in " Sex After Iris Krasnow is a bestselling author of relationship books and a popular keynote source on women's issues.

Is It Normal To Not Have Sex In A Relationship

Connect with her on iriskrasnow. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Though some happy mates aren't even going for that.

Here is more from her on going from daily sex to no sex: Nitric oxide is a key component in developing and maintaining an erection.

Author, 'The Secret Lives of Wives: Go to mobile site.

Your bed isn’t sexy anymore