Why is My Ex Being Cold, Distant and Rude to Me?
Ingenio: Getting it Right. : What to do when He is Distant
But every time I opened my mouth, it was like he was telling me with the look on his face and the coldness of his body language that I'd once again "put my foot in it and practically IGNORE ME, and then cuddle and kiss our cat and IGNORE ME, and I sat there, feeling like I was dying without his attention, affection and love. 6 Sep Behind curtain #1 is the type of guy who is absolutely smitten with his girlfriend — he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above his own. And behind curtain #2 is the type who's labeled as a "commitment -phobe" — he doesn't appear to enjoy being in a relationship. Ask a Guy: The More Distant I Act, The More Interested He Becomes Attempting to mold a man/relationship into being the relationship you want is a losing battle – progress is an illusion if you want something that he ultimately does not. Also, if you haven't already, you should Why He Withdraws After Love Making.
True love is only true when the feeling is mutual. Yet, it need not be expressed in words. When love is true, you just feel it. Have you ever felt like your relationship is just drifting away from you?
There was so much frustration and sadness in the space between him and me, on top of all the sleepless, miserable nights I spent alone - curled up on the rug, crying, or just walking the house while he slept. I needed someone to wave a magic wand over me and heal my relationship, and then heal my heart. I tried therapists and healers of all kinds, and the hole in my heart just got deeper and deeper, and the distance between my husband and I just got bigger and bigger.
What I didn't know then was that not only could I heal myself, and fast, but that I could heal my relationship. But every time I opened my mouth, it was like he was telling me with the look on his face and the coldness of his body language that I'd once again "put my foot in it. And remember, I was a fairly successful person in every other part of my life - I was outgoing, smart, a working actress. read article
What To Do When A Man Becomes Distant | Relationships Forum
I'd even learned how to put a business together on my own. But I want you to know exactly how bad it was for me, and exactly how I pulled myself out - so you can, too. So there I was, walking on eggshells during link day and staying up all night trying to figure things out. I was so unauthentic - he never knew who I was, where I was coming from, and what I really felt.
If this sounds familiar, know that you can turn this around like I did, using the Tools I created for myself. I'd been jumping over obstacles I'd created for myself, I'd worked hard to fix things, and I'd worked hard at being cheerful and positive. I stayed on the floor, watching my daughter play with a toy, and I didn't get up to welcome my husband home.
And isn't this what you truly want to see happen? I said that I was glad he told me he wasn't in a place emotionally to have an adult relationship and I wished him luck. Cass I think that overall it is only men who enjoy this casual sex thing. Of course, the words make him feel good when he hears them, but they don't sing to his soul. I realized a lot of my mistakes so I have given him space and time to let him and even myself, do our own things in life but to be exclusive.
I could hear the coldness in his voice and even though I felt the fear in my body screaming at me that I would lose everything if I didn't jump up and make everything "better," I stayed put. As he walked away from our daughter and our cat and went to take his work clothes off, I could feel my mind running, spinning, going a mile a minute trying to figure out HIS Acting Distant To Win His Love.
I click and tried to "figure things out" through every second of those two very long minutes. I MADE myself stay on the floor and not run after him to ask how his day went and be a "good" wife even though I worked, too.
I could hear my brain trying to imagine how horrible our evening was going to be, what he must be thinking, how I should act, what I could possibly do, how I could "talk" to him, what we'd do for dinner, wondering if he'd felt "slighted" by me, link, trying to get into his head.
If you had told me then that just NOT doing what I always did and it might be different things for you that you always do and can stop doing would make so much difference in my relationship, I would have rolled my eyes.
If you'd told me that just staying put on the floor would be such a big, huge thing to do link myself and my marriage, I would have laughed. I stopped doing more and more, and to my never- ending surprise, the less I did, the more space I allowed between us, the CLOSER he wanted to come to me!
And then, even more amazingly, as I started practicing this early version of my LeanBack Tool, I started to feel different inside.
He could never describe what that was like for him, or exactly what it was I was doing or not doing, he just knew that even though yesterday he'd wanted to run away from me, now, all of a sudden he wanted to be close.
He could never have given me the advice I needed to inspire him like this, because he didn't understand it himself.
The Biggest Reasons Guys Act Distant All Of A Sudden
I still don't talk about any of this to him, not because I want to keep secrets, but because it's not about HIM! By not jumping up and all of a sudden making him the focus of my life, I was focusing on MYSELF and what felt good to ME at the moment, which was sitting and watching my daughter. And this is different.
He Keeps Acting Differently
If I had been angry or resentful, he likely would have felt it and not come over and sat down at all, or he would have gotten up quickly, or turned his full attention to our daughter instead of to me. I was so uncomfortable just sitting there, and so prepared for coldness from HIM, it was an amazing thing that I was able to be OPEN to him in that moment.
We all know these people in real life. YES yes yes Joanne have I been there! I politely text him and said I know you have other obligations but I just wish I felt like more of an option. Me probably more than him, because it seemed like he always was the one taking initiative.
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